Week Two: Why Now?

I had a dream last year just after my thirtieth birthday. I was standing on a stage with the curtains open. There were bright stage lights. I couldn't see the audience but I knew they were there. I don't remember if I did anything but I remember thinking, "This is it."

I woke up feeling slightly perplexed about this dream. I went on about my day. Later that evening, I was cooking dinner and I had what is commonly known as a moment of clarity. I realized that dream wasn't about being on stage or anything to do with performing. It was about me and my life. I had arrived in my own life. I wasn’t a kid anymore. I had obligations and responsibilities to my family and friends. I was an official grown up.

My dream and realization brought me some good news and bad news. The good news is that anything I want for myself and my life is up to me. And the bad news is anything I want for myself and my life is up to me. My weight, my career, and my relationships are all up to me…no excuses.

With this new perspective, I made some minor and major changes. But none of which was related to my weight or health. This last December I visited my doctor and learned that I had gained about 15 pounds in one year. Surprised? Not really the waist band on my clothes felt tighter and slightly (okay, okay) really uncomfortable.

After my doctor's visit I talked about in my last post, my mind fast forwarded to a 52 year Keisha who is overweight, exhausted and wondering how did it happened. I have a lot to do in this life and I don’t want to worry about my weight or health. This fate was not something I was comfortable with as I’ve seen the women in my family deal with the consequences of weight related illnesses. Diabetes, strokes and heart attacks.

So I went home and signed up for Weight Watchers and Barry’s Bootcamp. I’ve done the bootcamp thing before but not with the commitment and resolve I feel now. Bootcamp starts on Monday (Feb 1st). I’m very excited to begin this endeavor with my classmates. I think this is just the kind of motivation I need to kick my pants in gear. I’m aiming for 9 pounds by in six weeks (March 16th). That’s losing on average a 1.5 per week with room for alcohol. Must leave room for wine; it makes life worth living.

I've been doing Weight Watchers for the past two weeks. I've noticed three things:

1. I NEVER paid attention as to whether I was hungry or not. I mostly ate when I was bored. Now I have a more of an idea of when I'm hungry.

2. I NEVER paid attention to whether I was full or not. I would just eat until I was too full. With WW I've learned how to distinguish between satisfied and full.

3. I'm a foodie. I love to eat. I like to try new things and enjoy doing so in social context. I used to try to deny myself all the things I love and now with revised eating habits I can enjoy anything I want in small portions.

So these are the things Week Two has brought me. I hope Week Three can turn me into a morning person because my Bootcamp classes start at 5AM. God help me on the treadmill next week.